Feminist rants

I've been reading my days away. On the list include: Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters By Courtney Martin, and It takes a Village by Hillary Clinton. They got me thinking a lot about the new generation of adolescents.

Pipher's model that the female adolescent is in crisis is outdated. As a result of her revoluntionary book, girl-power organizations have stepped up to the plate in the last 5-7 years. I was raised on this wave, and so were many of my peers. We aren't ravaged by degrading attacks on self-esteem from our misunderstood society. Sadly, the problems come from being pushed to be TOO much. Girls are taught that they can do anything and everything in the world. Girls receive better grades than their male peers, and some colleges now have practice reverse gender affirmative-action. In this new world, "alpha girls" dominate the scene. They have buckets of self-esteem, ambition, and are fiercely competitive. I would catagorize every one of my female peers at MIT into this group. These girls are resilient to the same societal pressures that devasted Pipher's girls. They dominate on the field, classroom, and as leaders.

But are they truly exempt from the self-esteem attacks? I think the pressures are different. Instead of thinking "I'm so confused about my identity", these girls know precisely who they are. Perfect student, team captain, head volunteer, daughter, sister, best friend, and caretaker. They have to be everything to everyone in their life. These pressures are overwhelming, and as Martin states, "The female/the mom has to make it look effortlessly easy."

And we all know that it's not fucking easy to do this. I used to try to be this girl in high school. Achieve this perfection because it was how I would succeed. When I entered MIT, I promised to take a 4 year hiatus from that excessively high level of personal pressure (yes, it used to be way worse). I take a lot of breaks because I simply cannot handle this role of "alpha girl." But I'm so amazed by all the ladies at MIT who've shown me that it is indeed possible - and really do make it look effortlessly easy. Major kudos to you.

But now that college is ending, I feel new pressure to be not an alpha girl, but this "alpha woman." We are entering a world that our feminist mothers pushed so hard for. Isn't there an obligation to take full advantage of the new opportunities? Women presidents lead Harvard and MIT. Hillary is making a run for the 2008 presidency. This world welcomes these alpha girls - they need our opinions. I just hope that I can handle the pressures and find my place. I'm realistic, too. I understand that things in the "real world" arrive not from ambition/ideals, but from patience, timing, and hard work. When I start my new job, I don't expect to be promoted to manager in the first few years nor to be handed a career path. The thing is: I DO strive to be wildly successful one day, maybe not before I am in my 40s. I do hope to have it all, although I am realistic to know that you can only strive to be YOUR best. The results aren't what matters nor are they controllable. Sacrifices are a natural part of the adult life. I.e. kids without sacrificing the new promotion or beach vacations sans diaper changing. But I feel like our society needs these older girls who truly believe that they can do anything and be anyone. It's time, and I think the next 30 years brings a lot more changes in the sexism arena.

And yes, I also think that I am quite a bit idealistic, Miss Recent College Graduate. As I enter this "real world", I'm sure different life factors will knock me back into place. But for now, it's necessary to have a vision to constantly strive for.

(haha...betcha didn't know I was such a feminist)